I haven’t really ever posted about my professional life, so what the hell I might as well start now.

I got my Bachelors in teaching Secondary English in mid December and since then I have been in denial that I’m riding the struggle bus looking for a job; until this month.
I’ve been substituting at the local high schools in my county since graduation and I’ve handed all of them my resume, business card, and dignity. So far this has been their response:

"Fuck you very much. Fuck your rent and your car payment. Fuck your degree. We can’t afford to hire you, let alone show interest in you. Fuck off. Unless we need another sub… Then you may return. Until then, get the fuck off my lawn."

Friday I got a call from one of my regular high schools asking me to cover a culinary class for an entire week! That seriously never happens and I wanted to cry because they went out of their way to offer it to me. Turns out that the teacher quit on Friday and they need someone ASAP. I literally don’t even give a fuck, I went straight down to the office and offered to sub for the class for the rest of the year, then went on the county website and applied for the actual teaching position. 

Cross all of your body parts that I get offered some kind of position. I NEED this job. When I’m not teaching, I’m not living.

Posted 2 weeks ago with 11 notes

But as a 22 year old female I have never been to a strip club. Well, until last night. The idea of a beautiful naked woman making her booty clap in front of me for money has always made me kind of nervous.
Last night was my coworker’s birthday so a couple of us from work took him out to Winghouse to celebrate. I feel the need to mention that I only drink liquor, so while everyone else was sharing pitchers of beer I was nursing a double vodka and sprite.

Then someone ordered a round of shots. Then another.

All of this combined with the chain smoking we were doing made going to the strip club seem like a great idea as my brain slowly began to marinate in all that liquor. Well that, and this cute coworker with his arm draped around me coaxing me to go. Such a fine booty combined with his beard made my knees week and my morals non-existent.
Being in that strip club was one of the most glorious experiences I’ve ever had. I felt like Rick Ross just making it drizzle (because I couldn’t afford to make it rain) up in the club! Mr. Arm Draper kept stuffing singles in my cleavage and the girl would fish them out using any body part except her hands. Two of them told me they were jealous of my “killer rack” and the music was on point. I just kept drankin’ and poppin’ my booty.
Unfortunately the couple we brought with us started fighting and we had to call it a night before I could seal any kind of deal with my new conquest. I know he was close because he couldn’t take his eyes of my boobs like I was hypnotizing his ass or something. So close.

New life goal: master the booty clap

Posted 2 weeks ago with 4 notes

Anonymous said: I'm 19 and after a long night of drinking with some friends I lost my virginity to a married friend of theirs that was crashing at their place. After that night we've hooked up a few more times over the past 5 months. Now that I'm starting to get into a committed relationship with someone that isn't him he's acting super jealous. He made it very clear that we were just hooking up, what gives? Why the hell is he jealous??! 

This is some shit. Some real fucking shit. I’m not going to beat around the bush with this because it is one of the most ridiculous things I deal with when I am in a relationship/fuckery with a man that already has a woman. 

They’re the ones cheating, right? Yet HE expects YOU to be faithful. Faithful to what exactly, sir? Faithful to your dick inside of me every time we have rushed sex? Faithful to the wild thoughts that race through my head when you go home to your wife? Faithful to a man who swore in front of lord baby Jesus that he would be faithful to his wife, yet he’s thinking of me while he’s fucking her? No. Fuck all of that noise.

As soon as these men see you flourishing, that is, moving on with another man because you have a chance at happiness that doesn’t involve them because they are stuck with their wives, they panic. 

This dude is most likely acting jealous because he doesn’t understand why you’ve left, or how you’re the one cutting it off first. He wants you to feel like you’ve done something wrong. Spoiled everything. Be the one to blame. When in reality you’ve done nothing but continue to do what makes you happy. 

I apologize for turning this into a rant but when a side chick, or whatever you may decide to call yourself, cuts it off FIRST, the taken men will almost always try to find a way to belittle you which is just unforgivable. Never let a man make you feel any type of way about yourself except for fucking awesome, because that’s what you are. 

Posted 3 weeks ago with 9 notes

I got drunk and fucked my most recent ex, Chris whom I haven’t mentioned on this blog because we were actually in a pretty awesome and serious relationship until he got all caught up in his feelings and ended things.

Funny, nothing has changed except my relationship status on Facebook though. We hang out at least once a week, talk on the phone everyday for hours, and bone like teenagers who just discovered their sexual organs.

Just about every Friday (sometimes Wednesday too) He comes over or I go to his place and we watch movies, cook dinner for each other, swear to God we aren’t going to freak-a-leak, have one too many tequila shots, and bump uglies like it’s going out of style.

Fortunately for me the sex is getting better. Unfortunately for him he has become expendable to me. Glad I’m not him…

Posted 3 weeks ago with 4 notes

Like this post
Happy birthday to me! Thank you all for the continued success of his blog. With 341 followers I am flattered and overwhelmed with your support and sharing in my awkward moments. It’s been a great year full of stories and strange sexual experiences. Hope everyone is ready for more!

Actual quote to my ex after we banged for the first time since breaking up. I LOVE having sex with people when I’m not attached to them because my inner monologue gets to say this for about 45 minutes…

"Oh, you want to choke me? DO IT."
“Are you pulling my hair? THEN DONT BE A BITCH ABOUT IT”
“Look at my booty from this horrible angle, I dare you.”
“You think you’re done performing cunnilingus? Think again.”

I don’t give a shit when I’m not your girlfriend. You’re here to either make me orgasm or make me laugh. Choose wisely.

Posted 1 month ago with 20 notes

Anonymous said: Is this blog still active? Came across it & I need to let this all out 

Let it out darling! :)

Posted 1 month ago with 2 notes

Anonymous said: Married Man saying "I love you" Well a response to your question if I feel the same way.... I thought I was doing a great job at keeping my guard up & not getting my feelings involved but seems like since he told me that, my feelings are getting involved :/ I thought the same thing, maybe after 3 yrs of hooking up he started to catch feelings for me. But he confuses me, one day he's so sweet & caring & the next he treats it like its jus a booty call & no feelings are involved whatsoever. 😔 

Sounds just like a man… The truth is, everyone is confusing unless you know exactly what they’re thinking. Men generally like sidechicks because they are less complicated than their wives. It’s ok that you feel like you’ve caught feelings. You’re human. It happens. I would keep up everything you’re doing now because that is what he likes, and if you’re feeling particularly brave, talk to him about it.  Usually married men don’t leave their wives to be with the other woman, but that doesn’t mean it never happens. Just ask him what he thinks the future holds for both of you.  He’ll probably tell you he prefers to live in the moment or something like that, which you can get around by asking him what his goals are for the future with work and relationships. He should at least have some goals in mind for where he would like to be whether in his personal or professional life. Try to scratch the surface of that complicated man brain of his and be extra supportive of his answers just in case his wife isn’t.

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes

Anonymous said: i wish i knew you in real life! you seem like a great friend to have 

You are a doll! I try my best :)

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes

Anonymous said: So I've been hooking up with a married man for 3 yrs, and recently one night while he was drinking, he told me he loved me, do you think it was just him being dumb & drunk or maybe he really does feel that way??? Confused 

Ooooh, this is a good one. I’m going to speculate a little bit and try to figure this one out… 

Whenever I’m drunk (or under any other kind of influence) I begin to tell the truth, but that nugget of truth also becomes exaggerated.

For example: I was taking codeine for my tonsils about 3 weeks ago and I told one of the dudes I’m seeing that I loved him… twice… I almost immediately knew what I did and tried to take it back, not because it wasn’t true, but because I knew it shouldn’t have been said. I do love him, but I am not IN LOVE with him. Does that distinction make sense? Also, men are usually much slower to drop the love-bomb so props to your man for getting that out!

Now, with your man, I would say that after three years he quite obviously cares for you deeply or he wouldn’t continue to see you. It wouldn’t be worth the risk or he would have moved on to another woman. He may love you in the way that we tell people close to us that we love them, but he may or may not be IN LOVE with you. 

My best advice for clearing up your confusion is to bring up what happened casually like if he goes out again one night say, “don’t drink too much or you might fall in love with me again! lol” and see how he reacts. Just something nonchalant that doesn’t make you seem like you’re digging or that you want him to feel some type of way. If he freaks out, then he probably isn’t IN LOVE with you, but if he jokes about it, he probably meant what he said.

I would love to know if you feel the way that your intoxicated married man feels! ;)

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes

Like this post

If you’re broke, so make some money.

If you don’t make enough money at work, look for a second job.

If you hate your job, go get a new one.

If you want to quit smoking pot, put the bong down and pick up a book.

Get your life together because one of us already has….

Posted 2 months ago with 7 notes

Anonymous said: i have a friends with benefits thing going on with a taken guy, does that mean I'm a sidechick? I mean i have no feelings for him nor am i secretly hoping he dumps his girl for me...i'm just wondering. Thanks! 

Yes it does. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to be with him forever or not, if you’re continuously hooking up with someone who has a significant other, you’re the side chick.  Other terms include: The other woman, mistress, side piece, jump off, etc. Some of them are less flattering than others…

Posted 2 months ago with 2 notes

Anonymous said: I love your blog so much! The best thing I've read on here. You're so interesting! 

Thank you! Although I don’t get on here as much as I would like, it’s always nice to know you guys are still around :)

Posted 2 months ago with 0 notes